Whoever loves a quarrel, loves sin. – PROVERBS 17:19
When we face disagreement or have been wronged in some way, our frustration fuels an innate desire to prove ourselves right. And not just ourselves right, but the other person wrong!
This is true when two people see a situation differently, but it’s especially true when we’ve suffered a loss of some kind due to another person’s actions. (loss of time, money, property, etc.) We address the situation – so as to not become a doormat – and set out to prove the other person wrong until they apologize or make it right.
You’re either right or wrong. Innocent or guilty.
When we are misjudged, falsely accused, slighted, or underappreciated, the impulse to bolster our personal reputation is a powerful temptation. While pursuing truth is certainly noble, the all-consuming desire to be right – to trumpet our side of the story – can quickly become a stumbling block in the pursuit of greater influence. In short, when leaders must always be right, everything about their influence goes terribly wrong.
The apostle Paul offers a general guideline through which we can filter all our leadership decisions.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. – PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4
If you’re not sure if your desire to be right is motivated by the altruistic pursuit of truth or selfish ambition, ask yourself three questions:
- Is being right on this matter crucial to achieving my God-given work or mission?
- Will being right help me show love to those I influence, encouraging them to grow?
- Does this issue have any eternal significance?
If your answer to these questions is “no,” it might be time to let it go.
Think and pray
Sometimes being right is not as important as maintaining the relationship.
Lord, please give me the humility to respond gently when I’ve been wronged and give me a heart to help others be all that you created them to be. Amen.
Heather Day is an author and communication specialist with more than 20 years of experience in the fields of marketing, communications, and nonprofit ministry. She is the author of Money and Spirit: Surrendering Our Finances to the Work of the Holy Spirit. She blogs regularly about life, motherhood, marriage, and faith-led leadership at HeatherDay.net.
